I started a podcast no one asked for. No one listened, no one shared, and after a few quiet episodes, it faded into a black hole. I aimed for 10 episodes but struggled to scrape together enough material. As it turns out, walking into a black hole teaches you things.

It all began with a suggestion from my boss. The idea? Interview guests from our network to boost our product offerings. This was the start of my solo mission.

I kept it an inside job, with only the internal team knowing that they would review the finished product. I was hoping to get it published on Spotify and acquire an audience. I did everything from directing to preparing the marketing plans. This meant hunting down guests and preying for an audio engineer.

There were plenty of mishaps. Every episode had a script, but I mostly ran from the guest’s vibes. Half of the time, guests didn’t have the proper equipment. I even recorded a full episode and realized it didn’t record anything the entire time. There were many umms, awkward pauses, and filler words. Our poor audio producer suffered greatly at the hands of my episodes.

I learned that running the show from start to finish is dangerously thrilling. I admit I was power hungry and I wasn’t ready to give it up. The rush of cramming everything into a tight schedule, barking orders (only to myself), and checking off tasks, all in the name of creation.

In the end, it never made it to Spotify. I didn’t build the audience I imagined, and the podcast quietly wrapped because the business needs changed — as they usually do — and I escaped the black hole, stepping in as a leader. What a bummer, but throw me back into orbit, I’m your girl.